Book Review: ‘Play Well with Others’ is a Concise Introduction to Making Music with a Group

BY JIM D’VILLE | FROM THE SPRING 2025 ISSUE OF UKULELE MAGAZINE

At just over 100 pages, Play Well with Others: A Musician’s Guide to Jamming Like a Pro, by Martha Haehl and Mike Walker, is a comprehensive introduction to the art of the musical jam session. It’s a treasure trove of practical information on learning how to join comfortably into an ensemble setting regardless of the genre or style of music.

Play Well with Others was originally released over a decade ago, but has since been republished in its original format due in part to the increased popularity of ukulele groups. “We decided to relaunch it in 2023 with a new website and Facebook page due to the growth of uke clubs and the explosion of acoustic jams,” says Walker. “There are so many more people now who could benefit from the book when either joining jams or participating in play-alongs.”

The book is divided into two distinct sections: jam etiquette and practical music theory. The authors stress how to enjoy the jam experience, providing suggestions like active listening. For the more adventurous beginning jammers, there are several tips for stepping up and leading a song. Says Walker, “It turns out there are many books on how to improvise in a jam, but when it comes to jam etiquette this book is unique.”

For the uninitiated, the first section of the book, “Jamming Do’s and Don’ts,” will be especially beneficial. Like joining any social circle, proper manners are required. As etiquette matriarch Emily Post famously said, “Good manners reflect something from inside—an innate sense of consideration for others and respect for self.” Or, as the authors point out in a musical context, “You can’t play your trumpet at a dulcimer jam, and ‘Michael, Row Your Boat Ashore’could get you thrown out of a swing or jazz jam.”

It’s important to note that when ukulele players gather to play in a group, it’s often referred to as a “jam,” but it’s more accurately a strum-along. An actual jam session is a different experience, involving not only strumming through a tune but also taking instrumental breaks, arranging on the fly, and creating a complete musical experience.

One of the more entertaining aspects of the book is a character named Jack the Jam Buster, who doesn’t mean to break up the jam but just doesn’t know how to play well with others. Spoiler alert—by the end of the book, Jack comes around and adds a touch of humor to the learning experience.

Another insightful section is about jam genres, with such tips as: “Bring your blues styles to a Celtic jam, and you’ll be in a bigger jam than you thought.” The authors detail the specific aspects of joining bluegrass, Celtic, old-time, jazz, and blues sessions. One crucial point is playing the right instrument for the style of music.

“Martha first got interested in folk music through open stages where Peter, Paul and Mary music and traditional folk songs were the norm,” reads the section. “When Martha attended a bluegrass festival she got some really strange looks when she walked up with a flute. Being a quick study, however, she put the flute in the case and listened carefully to the bluegrass rhythms and harmonies.”

The second half of Play Well with Others takes a deep dive into the music theory side of learning how to jam. This section begins with the basic tenets of learning the Nashville number system and the three-chord song form. The book also addresses a basic understanding of the circle of fifths and, since jam sessions don’t usually stay in just one key, the authors include a section on easy transposing. There are also numerous song examples demonstrating some of the most popular chord progressions using the circle of fifths.

Taking a solo at a jam can be frightening if you’ve never done it before. Fortunately, the authors include practical tips—including scale practice, picking out melodies and lead breaks, and playing along with recorded music—to help conquer this fear. 

Finally, one of the most important aspects of any jam session is playing in time. The authors explain the most common time signatures found at jams, including 4/4, 3/4, and 6/8. For those wanting to dig a bit deeper into music theory, the book concludes with a section entitled “Nuts and Bolts of Chord Composition and a Major and Minor Scales Reference Guide.” 

Overall, Play Well with Others is an excellent introduction to the wonderful and fulfilling world of playing music in a group setting.