Strum-ology: Horoscopes for the Curious Uker

by Leona Moon

Aries (March 21–April 19)
Is this thing on, Aries? You might feel a little like you’re stuck in one of those dreams where, in the middle of a gig, finishing up a four-chord wonder, your last note is met with the audience staring at you blankly. It’s that time of year again—Mercury goes retrograde on January 5, so ready yourself for awkward communication and intonation mishaps!
Aries Ukers: Jason Castro (March 25), Kate Micucci (March 31)

Taurus (April 20–May 20)
Can’t stop strummin’ along with Steve Martin to “Tonight You Belong to Me,” Taurus? You can blame the March 9 solar eclipse in Pisces for leading you to reminisce about an old flame. A devoted lover at heart, take a page out of fellow Taurus uker Iz’s book and serenade your darling with “Somewhere Over the Rainbow” and beyond.
Taurus Ukers: Amanda Palmer (April 30), Joe Brown (May 13)

Gemini (May 21–June 20)
Shake it off, Gemini! What’s better than the celestial fresh start that a new moon brings? Obviously, a new uke—or at least a new setup. The new moon in Aquarius, which kicks off February 8, will have you wanting to look and sound your best, so purchase those fancy strings and portable amp.
Gemini Ukers: Colbie Caillat (May 28), Cliff Edwards aka “Ukulele Ike” (June 14)

Cancer (June 21–July 22)
Brush up on your ukulele lullabies, Cancer—because, surprise, you or yours may be pregnant! The season may arrive with a whole other type of spring cleaning—transforming your office into a nursery. Expect the solar eclipse in Pisces on March 9 to bring new beginnings to the forefront. If you’re not in the market for a mini-you, perhaps you’ll inherit your great-aunt’s Chihuahua.
Cancer Ukers: Wayne Federman (June 22), Jason Reeves (July 1)

Leo (July 23–Aug. 22)
Is that you up on the marquee, Leo? Practice your scales and arpeggios—you’ve got an upcoming make-it-or-break-it gig on January 24, thanks to a full moon in your sign. Just be sure to take the time to practice and pay attention to details. With Mercury in retrograde, you could end up onstage with three E strings and no memory of your set list!
Leo Ukers: Eddie Kamae (Aug. 4), Don Ho (Aug. 13)

Virgo (Aug. 23–Sept. 22)
Forget spring cleaning, Virgo—this is your year! You’ve got Jupiter in your sign, which means Lady Luck herself is on your side through the end of the year. What’s a uker to do? Schedule some gigs. Plan a trip to Hawaii. Your entire life will be full of the-right-time-and-the-right-place moments, so keep your uke on hand.
Virgo Ukers: Wendell Hall (Aug. 23), Peter Moon (Aug. 25)

Libra (Sept. 23–Oct. 22)
Feeling a little emo, Libra? The lunar eclipse in your sign on March 23 could leave you feeling bogged down by sentiments from your past. We know—your inner hopeless romantic can’t stop re-watching Ryan Gosling playing the ukulele in Blue Valentine, and it’s a problem. This lunar eclipse will take you and your Kleenex for all you’re worth.
Libra Ukers: Frank Crumit (Sept. 26), Gerald Ross (Sept. 26)

Scorpio (Oct. 23–Nov. 21)
Papa don’t preach, Scorpio! It looks like the solar eclipse on March 9 in fellow water sign Pisces could have an important man or family member hitting the road. Sure, this could be an impromptu uke tour—similar to fellow Scorpio Jake Shimabukuro, who’s roaming around the country with his four-stringed darling—or it could be a breakup. Either way, time to channel your inner Taylor Swift and write some uke ballads.
Scorpio Ukers: Genoa Keawe (Oct. 31), Ryan Gosling (Nov. 12)

Sagittarius (Nov. 22–Dec. 21)
The future is looking bright, Sagittarius! How could it not with the full moon in Leo, your fellow fire sign. Tired of dreaming big and living out an episode of The Office every week? There’s no denying it—work’s a snore. It may be time for a career change to start living the dream. The life of a globe-trotting uke star or uke teacher sounds pretty sweet.
Sagittarius Ukers: Steven Curtis Chapman (Nov. 21), Erlend Øye (Nov. 21)

Capricorn (Dec. 22–Jan. 19)
Finally found the peanut butter to your jelly, Capricorn? The full moon in Virgo on February 22 will have you hunting for a special someone or serenading your other half. You’ll be pulling out all the stops—on one knee performing Jason Mraz’s “I’m Yours.” Throw your practical self out the window and let your romantic, musical heart lead the way!
Capricorn Ukers: Del Rey (Dec. 22), Meghan Trainor (Dec. 22)

Aquarius (Jan. 20–Feb. 18)
Still want to turn that extra bedroom into a home gym, Aquarius? There are a lot of firsts happening around the February 8 new moon—your kids might have moved out, leaving space to claim that extra bedroom as a music studio. Squats and kettlebells can wait—a home-recorded rendition of “Old Time Rock and Roll” (see p. 66 in Ukulele magazine’s Spring 2016 issue) cannot.
Aquarius Ukers: Danielle Ate the Sandwich (Jan. 24) Frank Skinner (Jan. 28)

Pisces (Feb. 19–March 20)
Your wish is the sun’s command, Pisces! You’ll be in the driver’s seat thanks to the solar eclipse on March 9. Now’s the time to start a new venture with a business partner—like that R&B-funk ukulele duo you’ve been dreaming about. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there—with this celestial lineup, you could be YouTube’s next uke star.
Pisces Ukers: May Singhi Breen (Feb. 24) George Harrison (Feb. 25)